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In California, only one witness is required to sign your license, though two is customary. Witnesses do not have to be part of the bridal party, but should be 18 years of age or older and at least present at the wedding. Therefore, your photographer, for example, could sign as your witness, perhaps in a small, intimate wedding.
You buy the candles yourself, as keepsakes of your wedding, to light on each anniversary. If the wedding is out-of-doors, do provide hurricane-style glass globes around each of the candles. Available in stationary stores and Michaels stores.
It would be wonderful if your audience could hear your vows. When reading or repeating the vows after me, try to project your voice a little, loudly enough for your friends and family to hear this most essential part of your ceremony. We will practice this ahead of time.
PHOTOGRAPHERS, VIDEOGRAPHERS:
Most officiants certainly do not mind photographs during the ceremony, as most wedding photographers are professionals, and know precisely what they are doing. As for family or friends taking photographs, obviously they should not intrude themselves into the ceremony by dashing around and blocking the audience's view. No flashes in the officiant's face.
If the officiant is to wear a remote mike (for video or to magnify sound to run through outside speakers), do test the system for loudness and lack of squawk. If a relative or friend is in charge of playing your tapes or CDs during the ceremony, do go over the mechanics of the player and the timing of the music several times prior to the wedding itself. I know it sounds like it should be easy, but, under the stress of the day, mistakes can be devastating.
As you know, your license must be signed by the witnesses immediately after the ceremony. Do ask your photographer to photograph this signing as part of your future memories.
OFFICIANT:
Following the ceremony, I usually leave quite a while before your guests. Let me know where to park so I will not get sealed in. If you wish to have my smiling face in any of your photos, we will ask that the photographer take these shots soon after the ceremony.
MUSIC:
Do let me know me ahead what music you want played and when. I will arrive at your wedding site about 45 minutes before the ceremony, precisely to go over all cues with musicians, DJs, photographer, straggling members of the bridal party, etc., and to check with you on any last minute details.
PROCESSION:
If your procession in to the ceremony involves coming down stairs, do hold on to the railing or banister provided. If your dress is long or has some type of train, consider having someone hold your flowers for you at the bottom of the stairs (whoever will walk up the aisle with you) so you can hold onto the railing with one hand and hold onto your dress with the other.
During your main procession in, remember to walk slowly!
This, I believe, is the secret to making your wedding smooth and seamless. We will practice this until everyone in the bridal party is in sync.
WEDDING GIFTS:
Depending on local or other circumstances, you might consider asking someone to stand near a separate table set aside for weddings gifts that your guests may bring. Have some scotch tape handy, so that your gift taker can tape the right wedding card to the right present, for obvious reasons. That person might also request that each guest sign your wedding book.
USHERS:
If you have or want them - along with whatever duties you want the usher(s) to perform (walking family members up the aisle, giving directions for seating, etc.), I believe the main role of an usher is to make guests feel welcome and comfortable. They should:
* Let people know where & when to be seated;
* Direct guests to the gift table and/or Sign-In Book;
* Give directions to restrooms, water, etc.
LIAISON:
It is a great idea to ask someone (who is not in the immediate bridal party) to stay with you with you in the room where you are getting ready just prior to the wedding. This person would act as your "go-fer" in case you need something from your car trunk, like hairspray, CDs, or the license! Or you may need to get a message to the groom or the DJ or me, or whomever.
Seating:
Use common sense in seating. Traditionally, the bride's family is seated on the left and the groom's family on the right side of the aisle.
However, for the rest of your guests, it is customary today to invite guests to be seated on either side of the aisle and thus fill in each side evenly.
Obviously, be careful and diplomatic when assigning seats for family members who may be divorced and remarried or dating, especially if they bring their new partner. Domestic violence really should not be a part of the ceremony.
Rings:
It is also a great idea to bring the rings to the ceremony! If you have a ring bearer, attach the rings to the pillow with a pin or simple knot that even I can undo.
If the rings are held by the best man or maid of honor, they can hold them on the little finger of one hand, not in the pocket with a hole!
When exchanging rings, do not try to force the ring over the other's knuckle, but let each one make their own ring adjustment.
Chairs:
When setting up chairs, leave plenty of room for an aisle. Allow for at least two and probably three people to walk up the aisle together.
On a golf course or grassy field or beaches, be careful of high heels, for obvious reasons. Tell your guests beforehand.
Think twice about a runner (you simply may not need or want one) if it is likely that it could be blown or picked up by the wind, or not laid out in a straight line, particularly if laid out on grass or soft ground.
Readings:
To avoid stress on your readers (if you have them), I will announce their names just before they read so they need not worry about when to read.
Be sure that your chosen reader can read and can read slowly and clearly. We will practice this at the rehearsal.