A. I am licensed to perform all weddings in the State of California.
Civil: Such as a judge or Justice of the Peace or Commissioner of Marriages would perform
Religious: References to God, blessings of you and of rings, prayers, etc.
Spiritual: More poetic / romantic / creative
.....or any combination of the above. All tailor-made to your wishes.
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A: Approximately 20/25 minutes, depending on what you would like to add. Remember, these are PERSONALIZED weddings, so the actual length of the ceremony is entirely up to you.
As an example, you might add a Unity Candle ceremony, or the Hands Ceremony; or one or more readings/talks by family or friends; you might choose music during the ceremony or add ethnic traditions; or spoken translation of the ceremony, or poems, song lyrics, or other additions.
Or, you may want a short, simple ceremony, without additions, both of which would obviously affect the length of the wedding
Q. What do you try to do in your ceremonies?
A: I try to provide you with a ceremony that is yours, to make you feel comfortable both before and during the wedding itself and let you enjoy your own wedding and each other.
Whether your ceremony is small and intimate or large and formal, frenzied or sedate, you will be getting the finest wedding in this solar system.
In short, I want you to have that ceremony that lets you best say to each other, "I want to be with you for the rest of my life. That's how much I love you".
We need to determine your comfort level and ensure the most stress-free and enjoyable wedding possible.
Q. What do you wear during your ceremonies?
* Usually, a black suit, white shirt, and gray tie. And because it is your big day, I would even wear shoes! For outdoor weddings, I often wear a black beret (see photos). However, I can also wear the following:
* Black suit with clerical collar
* Black suit, clerical collar and stole, the decorated wide strip of woven white cloth worn around the neck and down the front (of me).
* Black robe, much like a judge's or university professor's robe,
with grey tie or clerical collar.
*An alb (long white garment) with optional blue stole
* Ethnic or historical clothing ( Hawaiian, Old English, Renaissance, etc.)
I can wear anything from formal black to jeans, or whatever you feel would fit best with your ceremony
Q. We just want something short and sweet.
A. This is your wedding and you should have it just the way you want it. "Personalized" does not necessarily equal "long" - or "formal" or "complicated". It just means adding or subtracting what you want. And I have several ceremonies available.
Many are short. All are sweet!
Q. What about small weddings?
A. Small weddings are not only more intimate, but easier on your budget and nerves as well. Again, I give the same care and attention to your smaller, intimate wedding as I have ever given to any large ceremony.
I have a particular attachment to small weddings, which give the bride and groom the chance to really concentrate on each other. I know, since this is how my wife, Joan, and I got married, and I'm still concentrating on her.
Q. What about young children in the bridal party?
A. Ring bearers, flower girls, etc. are always a delight in weddings. But, be careful. If a child is too young and would likely be overwhelmed by a crowd of people suddenly turning and looking at them when they process in, I do not think it's fair to them to force them to do something frightening.
To make it less intimidating, they can walk up the aisle holding hands, or aim for Mommy who is already seated somewhere obvious in the front rows and has a seat saved for them.
One tiny boy in a miniature tuxedo, the ring bearer at a huge wedding, panicked and ran back down the aisle and out of the building. And he had the real rings! (As you may know, many couples put fake rings on the pillow, just in case, while the best man/maid of honor hold the real rings).
Another very young, very frightened little boy began leaning his whole weight against me, finally grabbing a hold of my leg in a sort of death grip throughout the whole ceremony. I'm still trying to get the circulation back.
In any case, I really do try to make children comfortable, both at the rehearsal and during the wedding itself.
Q. What do you suggest about vows?
A. Since this is the heart of your wedding ceremony, I recommend that your words say exactly what you want to say to each other. So, before choosing the words themselves, think about this: how brave are you? What kind of vows would you prefer?
a. I say everything and even give you the answer "I do" (for example, #2 on the sheet I will send you)
b. You write your own individual vows (not necessarily the same for each other). As this can be intimidating (you might worry about not remembering what you wrote), I would take your vows and put them in my wedding book and turn the book toward you during the exchange of vows. In other words, you would have your very own "cheat sheet" (for example, #7 on the sheet).
You might also print out your vows on rolled parchment paper (available at most stationery stores) and ceremoniously unroll them and recite them to each other.
c. And then, the middle ground: you repeat after me in short phrases, such as the vows we are most familiar with: "I, John Jones" (repeat), take you, Suzie Q. Smith" (repeat), etc. (for example, #1, #3, #4, #6)
These may be traditional vows or you may take words from one vows and insert them in your own, or combine vows or, as above, stir up your creative juices and write your own. I will gladly help you with any and all of this.
Q. What are your recommendations about rehearsals?
A: I strongly recommend rehearsals both for your own peace of mind and to avoid unnecessary problems during the ceremony. However, if the bridal party consists of only two or three or even four people (counting the two of you), you may wish to have only a verbal walk through with me, at no charge.
Or, if the members of the bridal party will not arrive in time for a separate rehearsal, (for example, flying into SFO the night before), you might choose a brief rehearsal an hour or so before the actual ceremony, again at no charge, since I am already there.
If, however, the wedding party consists of five or more groomsmen, bridesmaids, attendants, flower girls, ring bearers, etc., I strongly recommend a formal rehearsal on a day or night separate from the ceremony. I believe this greatly adds to your own comfort level and to the least stressful enjoyment of your wedding.
Q. Can I add ceremonies of my own?
A. Certainly. I have several suggestions, but, if you would like to add something that you have seen or read about elsewhere, we can certainly make it a part of your own ceremony.
